Sunday, April 4, 2010
One missed call...
Thank you blackberry for sometimes delivering the best news and sometimes the worst. Like today. One missed call. Those three words are now my enemy. Troy is in an area that he doesn't have Internet in his room. I am still grateful for the time i do get to hear his voice but that makes those first two weeks a real teaser. I loved seeing him. Chatting online multiple times. Made me feel like he wasn't soooo far away. But now its the good ole phone. Wake up: 7:30. Grip phone tightly until 10:35. 10:44 hear Sean Kingstons "I'm at war" playing. 10:45 jump out of shower almost breaking neck. 10:46 One missed call. I felt like my heart dropped. But with children the day goes on. Easter baskets, i want more candy battles, hiding eggs, hunting eggs, more candy battles, cooking dinner. Alexia and Jacob enjoyed their day. Especially around 3 when Troy was able to call again. That call made my Easter Day complete. I know its not thanksgiving but on holidays i always think about how many things i am grateful for. My children's smiles, their warm loving hugs, and my husband voice. Hope everyone had a Happy Easter!
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Its taking a toll
Its beginning to take a toll on everyone. I'm running on minimal sleep. Gripping my phone the few hours i do sleep. So scared to miss a call. Getting used to doing everything on my own again is exhausting. My eyes are tired but my body feels like there is so much more to do. The poor babies are just so confused and lost. They have been cranky throughout the day and Jake has had trouble sleeping the past two nights. I just want to scream and cry all at the same time. I just wish i could hear his voice, see his face, read his words. I know he is at work and has a job to do but i find myself wishing i was somewhere in the job description. So here's to hoping i fall fast asleep before the second showing of Oprah airs.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Monday, March 15, 2010
Is this a dream?
Not knowing what to expect is probably the hardest thing. I did not know what to expect driving up to drop of his bags. I didn't know what to expect pulling into the hangar. I expected tears but that is exactly what my body didn't produce. We stood there joking around with each other and hugging and kissing every other second. BUZZZZ. 5 minutes to ceremony. 2 minutes to ceremony. And that was that. He walked away and my heart started to crack. Hearing cries from woman and children in the crowd the crack grew larger. and before i could process what was going on all the soldiers marched out the door. I managed to keep all emotions under control until i got to the car. I had a short time to get it all out before i got back to the kids. It didn't seem real. I felt like shortly he would be arriving back from work. Or wake up in the morning and he would be back. Unfortunately this will not be the case. Not for a while at least. By far this was just the beginning of events to come. Tired kids who just want their daddy to tuck them in. A antsy dog who cant stop pacing the house whining looking for her daddy. And a lonely wife who just wants to snuggle and watch a movie. Heres to hoping the year goes by quickly. But if that cant happen atleast have a year full of things to keep me busy.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
With this upcoming seperation...
With our upcoming year long seperation of course lots of scary, uneasy, negative thoughts are crossing my mind constantly. So tonight i decided to stop and think about some of the positive things that times like these have brought me in the past.
I loved the feeling of getting butterflies every time i saw his number pop up through out basic. It was that rush of when you are first dating. Just to hear his voice no matter what he was saying. Its gives me goosebumps just thinking about it now. Sending pictures and letters. The actual handwritten kind :) was such a great way to stay connected and even learn new things about each other.
Going to his graduation from basic was such a proud moment. Seeing something he had worked so hard at..in action..in uniform. It was so moving. Seeing the smile on alexias face when she saw him. You could tell she was proud also. I held him and never wanted to let go. That simple hug brought our marriage to a whole new level. We had survived obstacle number one.
Onto AIT we go..Good ole Fort Lee Virginia. This move was great for us because that means we actually got to visit him!!! Although the 12 hour drive was stressful, long, and tiring the anticipation and excitement outweighed those! And on top of all these emotions i was also nervous. Nervous that the same bond wouldnt be there. Nervous i didnt look my best. Just overall NERVOUS. As soon as i saw his smile i knew that none of those things were an issue. Everything was exactly the same and even better. I remember one of the few trips up there. Arriving bright and early friday morning. Sad that i wouldnt be able to see him until Saturday morning. Being myself i could not wait. So what is one to do when you cannot do something until the next day but want to do it that day. Do the words spy, campout, look like a fool come to your mind? They came to mine! So thats what i did. Parked across the street from his school. Watched his bus pull up. Slowly and nonchalantly pulled into the parking lot(with sunglasses on and ducted down as far as i could) Got a good upfront spot. And waited. Off his bus and into the building he marched. Allllll that work for those 5 seconds of seeing him march. SOO worth it. Ill never forget moments like those. Moments where my inner child came out. While my own children are in the back seat oblivious to how silly their mommy is being.
Me and Chelsea's SOOOO excited face!
Watching his bus pull up :)
Alexia and Daddy)
Jake and Daddy
So as sad as i am about him leaving for a whole year, I must remember these times and feelings. Weve survived it before and we will survive it again. Hopefully coming out closer and stronger than we were the year before. Its going to be tough but im prepared to be tougher.
I loved the feeling of getting butterflies every time i saw his number pop up through out basic. It was that rush of when you are first dating. Just to hear his voice no matter what he was saying. Its gives me goosebumps just thinking about it now. Sending pictures and letters. The actual handwritten kind :) was such a great way to stay connected and even learn new things about each other.
Going to his graduation from basic was such a proud moment. Seeing something he had worked so hard at..in action..in uniform. It was so moving. Seeing the smile on alexias face when she saw him. You could tell she was proud also. I held him and never wanted to let go. That simple hug brought our marriage to a whole new level. We had survived obstacle number one.
Onto AIT we go..Good ole Fort Lee Virginia. This move was great for us because that means we actually got to visit him!!! Although the 12 hour drive was stressful, long, and tiring the anticipation and excitement outweighed those! And on top of all these emotions i was also nervous. Nervous that the same bond wouldnt be there. Nervous i didnt look my best. Just overall NERVOUS. As soon as i saw his smile i knew that none of those things were an issue. Everything was exactly the same and even better. I remember one of the few trips up there. Arriving bright and early friday morning. Sad that i wouldnt be able to see him until Saturday morning. Being myself i could not wait. So what is one to do when you cannot do something until the next day but want to do it that day. Do the words spy, campout, look like a fool come to your mind? They came to mine! So thats what i did. Parked across the street from his school. Watched his bus pull up. Slowly and nonchalantly pulled into the parking lot(with sunglasses on and ducted down as far as i could) Got a good upfront spot. And waited. Off his bus and into the building he marched. Allllll that work for those 5 seconds of seeing him march. SOO worth it. Ill never forget moments like those. Moments where my inner child came out. While my own children are in the back seat oblivious to how silly their mommy is being.
Me and Chelsea's SOOOO excited face!
Watching his bus pull up :)
Alexia and Daddy)
Jake and Daddy
So as sad as i am about him leaving for a whole year, I must remember these times and feelings. Weve survived it before and we will survive it again. Hopefully coming out closer and stronger than we were the year before. Its going to be tough but im prepared to be tougher.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
My first day as a blogger
Well today is my first official day as a blogger. Hoping i dont get to rambly because i tend to do that often. I must say this is rather different because im not writing to a specific person...just writing to the world. Well the World Wide Web i suppose. This ill start off with a about me from day 1. Promise i'll cut some stuff out though.
Born in the beautiful month of April :) Grew up in the same town, same house, same family. The last part is to be expected i guess.
(wow this is hard..maybe i should just do bullets with facts...)
okay going to skip years 1-14 because all the normal stuff happened in between there.
At the age of 15 i became pregnant with my babygirl. This was a large obstacle for me and my family but once again proved to me how luck i am to have all those great,supportive, and loving people in my life. On October 15, 2004 i welcomed Alexia Grace into the world. She took a huge part in making me the person i am today.
Being a mommy was tough but there was no other job i wanted. I attended highschool still and the 4 ladies at the daycare became a big set of grammas to my sweet girl. It was such a blessing.
Age 18- high school graduation, speaking at graduation, new hope chest, heading to college, baby number two?!?! Yup that is correct. I was once again blessed and this time with a little boy(although i didnt know that till he came) Alexia was so excited to be a big sister. not so excited about me making her be potty trained before he came. All went smoothly through the pregnancy until delivery time. My little man wasnt breathing very well when he came out but praise the lord everything was okay once he hit earth. So November 15,2006 welcome to the world Jacob Johnnie.
The next year or so carried on as normal. Watching my babies grow and learn was amazing. They were so go with the flow and up for anything especially if it involved being around people.
March-April of 2008- I met the man of my dreams. Okay so it didnt happen like that. I knew Troy for a while and he was a perfect match for me but it took some time for me to see that like everyone else did. I had known him for a while through friends but never really had a solo conversation. I believe the first conversation we had was a lecture about his bike(aka crotchrocket). I said something along the lines of what happens if me and my kids are stranded on the side of the road and need a ride and all you have is this? His response, Ill take you one at a time. Yeah thats not going to work. A few weeks later he shows up with a truck. Now thats a man on a mission. In April we made it "official". I couldnt have made a better choice and so glad he got my number even though i wasnt giving it to him :) He is my best friend, my hero, an amazing man. I love him with my whole heart.
November of '08 Troy decided to join the United States Army and that is where the wild ride began. While he was gone i passed time by planning our WEDDING! What was going to be a small little affair with a few friends and family turned into a much larger shindig. That plays into how amazing my family is. Most of the food was homemade or order from Publix(woot woot). My aunts did all the decorating. It was a big ole family effort and turned out gorgeous. Defiantly one of the best days of my life.
April of 2009- My 21st Birthday. At dinner with family and friends and i get a text from troy reading... Hey baby. Get your pitch fork ready were heading to Kansas yeee haww! And the tears started rolling. I have lived in my mamas house since day 1. Never been away from good ole Bradenton Florida. Although i was scared and nervous i was so ready to start my family and live with my husband. This is the first true lesson i learned as an army wife...You do what you gotta do.
July 2009 We hit the road to Fort Riley, Kansas. These last months have gone by so fast. Got in our first house. Saw snow for the first time. Learned my way around base. Made some great friends. Kids made some friends also. We also learned of Troys nearing deployment in March. Now its down to the wire of just waiting for that phone call saying its time for him to go.
Hope i havent bored you. I promise they wont all be this long :)
Born in the beautiful month of April :) Grew up in the same town, same house, same family. The last part is to be expected i guess.
(wow this is hard..maybe i should just do bullets with facts...)
okay going to skip years 1-14 because all the normal stuff happened in between there.
At the age of 15 i became pregnant with my babygirl. This was a large obstacle for me and my family but once again proved to me how luck i am to have all those great,supportive, and loving people in my life. On October 15, 2004 i welcomed Alexia Grace into the world. She took a huge part in making me the person i am today.
Being a mommy was tough but there was no other job i wanted. I attended highschool still and the 4 ladies at the daycare became a big set of grammas to my sweet girl. It was such a blessing.
Age 18- high school graduation, speaking at graduation, new hope chest, heading to college, baby number two?!?! Yup that is correct. I was once again blessed and this time with a little boy(although i didnt know that till he came) Alexia was so excited to be a big sister. not so excited about me making her be potty trained before he came. All went smoothly through the pregnancy until delivery time. My little man wasnt breathing very well when he came out but praise the lord everything was okay once he hit earth. So November 15,2006 welcome to the world Jacob Johnnie.
The next year or so carried on as normal. Watching my babies grow and learn was amazing. They were so go with the flow and up for anything especially if it involved being around people.
March-April of 2008- I met the man of my dreams. Okay so it didnt happen like that. I knew Troy for a while and he was a perfect match for me but it took some time for me to see that like everyone else did. I had known him for a while through friends but never really had a solo conversation. I believe the first conversation we had was a lecture about his bike(aka crotchrocket). I said something along the lines of what happens if me and my kids are stranded on the side of the road and need a ride and all you have is this? His response, Ill take you one at a time. Yeah thats not going to work. A few weeks later he shows up with a truck. Now thats a man on a mission. In April we made it "official". I couldnt have made a better choice and so glad he got my number even though i wasnt giving it to him :) He is my best friend, my hero, an amazing man. I love him with my whole heart.
November of '08 Troy decided to join the United States Army and that is where the wild ride began. While he was gone i passed time by planning our WEDDING! What was going to be a small little affair with a few friends and family turned into a much larger shindig. That plays into how amazing my family is. Most of the food was homemade or order from Publix(woot woot). My aunts did all the decorating. It was a big ole family effort and turned out gorgeous. Defiantly one of the best days of my life.
April of 2009- My 21st Birthday. At dinner with family and friends and i get a text from troy reading... Hey baby. Get your pitch fork ready were heading to Kansas yeee haww! And the tears started rolling. I have lived in my mamas house since day 1. Never been away from good ole Bradenton Florida. Although i was scared and nervous i was so ready to start my family and live with my husband. This is the first true lesson i learned as an army wife...You do what you gotta do.
July 2009 We hit the road to Fort Riley, Kansas. These last months have gone by so fast. Got in our first house. Saw snow for the first time. Learned my way around base. Made some great friends. Kids made some friends also. We also learned of Troys nearing deployment in March. Now its down to the wire of just waiting for that phone call saying its time for him to go.
Hope i havent bored you. I promise they wont all be this long :)
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